You know your too fucking high when the buffering screen on Netflix puts you in a trance
When it’s only 5am and your already hittin the blunt
You know your living the good life when your 18 and have to rub lotion on your asshole for medical purposes
I beat my meat like imma fuckin butcher and I park the pussy like I’m Ashton kutcher!!
Your so drunk your switching religions!
Laverne cox is bae
gofundme.com/2bvup44
I used to get mad when men would make jokes about how women’s periods make them irrational, but now I just remember that during Victorian times, a table’s legs were thought to arouse men so they invented table cloths to cover them up so men wouldn’t get erections during dinner
I might cry for no reason but at least I’ve never gotten a BONER for a fucking TABLE
Friendly seasonal reminder
Don’t keep lilies in your house if you have cats.
They will die.
Even if they just breathe in the pollen. Or get it on their fur. They will fucking die. Do not do it.
SIGNAL BOOST THIS SHIT
I did not know this reblogging
“… the most toxic household plants for cats is the common lily. In fact, eating as little as two or three leaves from the flowers can result in liver failure and, if left untreated, can have a fatal outcome for cats.” (Source: PetMD)
Please take care of your feline friends!